Xbox 360
I’ll be totally upfront about this right from the start — I have no idea what Pokémon is all about. I’ve heard the name and know it’s from Japan, but that’s about it. Seriously. For whatever reason, Pokémon as a cultural phenomenon has totally passed me by. So when the time came to review this game I wasn’t sure if my lack of knowledge would be a help or a hindrance. Would it make me unbiased and objective, or just ignorant? Either way, I felt I was approaching the game with an open mind when I fired it up for the first time.
I was greeted with a series of slightly bizarre multiple-choice questions about what I would do in certain hypothetical situations. After rattling through these I was told to press my finger against the screen so my aura could be analysed. Result: “smart marine blue”. Apparently that means I’m “The sassy type! Or at least somewhat sassy!”. Riiight. I was pretty puzzled about where all this was going, but it turns out that you're allocated a character on the basis of your answers. My kindred spirit was Meowth, though there were no indications of the advantages or disadvantages of using this wee guy.
Next, I got to choose a partner from a list of characters with funky names. This was all very well, but seeing as there were no stats or descriptions for each one it was pretty hard to choose on any other basis than the one with the silliest moniker. Squirtle, as it happens.
The game seemed to kick off in earnest then, with a cut scene featuring some pretty atmospheric graphics and sound. Unfortunately, as soon as the characters started talking, a couple of problems surfaced. Not only is the dialogue poorly scripted, but reading it is a chore. You have to touch the screen after every sentence to advance, meaning literally dozens of taps every time you try to converse.
Hmm. It was taking so long to get into any actual gameplay that I was losing the will to keep playing already. It didn’t get any better when I was asked if I wanted to help a character with a task. Having decided to be heartless and say no, the game just kept asking the same question until I said yes. Clearly, freedom of choice is not a feature of the world of Pokémon (or is it Pokémons?).
I did eventually get to try some free play. This consisted of wandering about dungeons and bumping into one generic opponent after another. Me and my buddy would kick the crap out of them in some turn-based combat until they disappeared. Even this wasn’t easy, by dint of the fact that the map overlay made it difficult to see what was going on in certain situations.
After another ten minutes of clueless wandering, I switched it off. It seemed too hard to get into the game without any prior knowledge of Pokémon. It’s like you’re just expected to know what it’s all about. I even went back and gave it another go, but it didn’t take long for my frustration to boil over again and make me switch it off once and for all.
The thing is, if you’re a Pokémon fan you may well love this game. It seems to be pretty deep, with over 490 characters, numerous multiplayer modes, and online play.
However, if by now you don’t know what Pokémon is all about steer well clear because this game isn’t going to enlighten you any.